Rivet's repair manual
Field-tested wisdom from the Robits repair counter. Rivet wrote this himself, in crayon, on the back of a schematic. We have transcribed it faithfully.
Step 1 · Do not panic
Your gadget is not dead. It is "between boots." Say this out loud. It helps you, and — Rivet swears — it helps the gadget.
Step 2 · Panic quietly
If step 1 fails, panic quietly so the neighbors don't worry. Then unplug everything and plug it back in. This fixes 60% of problems and 100% of moods.
Step 3 · Listen
Hold the gadget to your ear like a seashell. A healthy machine hums. A sad machine clicks. A dead machine is silent — but remember: silence is just a hum you haven't earned yet.
Step 4 · Do not attempt step 4
Step 4 is "open it up and poke around with a screwdriver." Rivet has crossed it out, rewritten it, crossed it out again, and drawn a small frowny face next to it. Bring it to the counter instead. He has the screwdriver. He has all the screwdrivers.
Step 5 · The floppy test
Ask yourself: "Would I save this to a floppy disk and label it IMPORTANT?" If yes, it's worth repairing. If no — repair it anyway, because someone else might.
Step 6 · Celebrate the boot
When it powers on, announce it to the room: "IT IS NOT DEAD!" This is mandatory. Rivet will know if you skip it.